It’s mid-August and the nights are beginning to cool off. Schools are starting and most of us are beginning to put summer to bed.
So, what I am noticing a lot lately is things are feeling FUNNY. They’re not bad or good, just kinda off. What happens when stuff is off for a while? We too, become off. We’ll notice it first more in others, saying things such as “What’s up with her? They are in a mood! Bitch much?” I hate to break this to you but those “observations” are really about you. You are off. Something is up!!!
How do we know what “it” is??
First of all, these questions cannot be answered with a black and white answer; it’s bigger than hormone imbalance or sugar rush.
I’ll give you a hint: This always has to do with fear of failure and other folks giving us negative comments. It’s staying the “safe”zone. It’s staying with the stuff you are naturally good at because then you always seem successful. It’s not facing the fact that time is moving on and we are still listening to Duran Duran(which is totally acceptable as they are awesome, but there is more out there)
That’s right folks, THERE IS MORE OUT THERE!!!
For a lot of us, all we need to do is step out of our comfort zone, whatever that is. Comfort zones aren’t always this plushy magical place like hanging out with Care Bears. I’m talking about the place you reside: the place where if you objectively looked at yourself you may find that: You complain a lot, you say negative things to yourself and others in your head, you stay home too often because of lame excuses like traffic, you may only identify yourself through your illnesses(arthritis,asthma,allergies,etc) you keep yourself in a certain body weight because eating healthy and exercising are SO HARD, you create a home that is more of a protection wall than living space, you think happiness is only for other people, dating is too much effort for disappointment, being comfortable is more important than being aware…
I could go on and on.
I am not saying any of those things are bad, they’re not; in certain times of our lives they are essential. The tricky part is when we stay in them for too long. Humans are creatures of movement and if we don’t move, we get stuck and then everything is “off” and we try to fix it with booze,sugar, sex or any other pleasurable things that may offer peace for a moment or two but does not address the issue.
What is the real issue? Failure. Yep, I said it.
If I fail then I will be judged. If I make a decision..it could wrong.If I fail, I’ll never come back from it. If I fail, I won’t get what I want. If I fail, I’ll be a failure. If I don’t do it, then I won’t fail!!! If I fail it will be my fault!!!
Yes and no.
I taught improv theater for years and this is exactly what I told them. You will fail 80% of the time, you will; in fact, you need to get inside that failure, become friends with it, hold hands with it so when you do fail, you don’t care because in the next 20 seconds you have another chance of doing something else. Yes, 80% failure but, that 20% success will be sooooo good, that failure doesn’t even register. If there is any fault here it’s this: you were staring at the failure so long you missed the myriad of opportunities that flew by you… you were staring at yesterday’s failure.
Honestly, if you fail… nobody cares. They might in the beginning but they are just drawing attention to you because they have failed too. If you were wrong,so what? Are you pressing the big red button that releases all the nukes or are you choosing a cable package? Seriously, most of what we feel we fail at …tend to be minor. What happens is all those small failures give our decision making abilities a beatin which makes our big decisions messy.
I want to tell you something, those decisions do not have to be messy, they do not have the punch we allow them, nope. We allow them some power over our identity, some mystical prophesy that only one way is the right way. Our lives are just lives…no one way to live them. This is the Grace we all seek but miss somehow: if we make a choice that is wrong for us, we get to amend it and move towards what is positive for us. There is no “one way” to live life, that’s a video game not life. Whatever failure or negativity we encounter is merely information to make a different choice.
That’s it. Grace is knowing that a different choice is out there for you; that you are forgiven for what ever you do as long as you are willing to forgive yourself. Grace does not come seeking you, you have to come into yourself and you do so by releasing these severe consequences packed onto decisions over which apartment to rent.
Life is just life, we assign it positively or negatively and quite frankly all we must do is yell “NEXT!” and watch our landscape change.
So get out of that comfort zone and give failure a chance to show you how comical life is. Make mistakes, laugh them off and try on some different ideas; hit the buffet, try all the flavors and relax, it’s just life.
May you be blessed!
So much love to you!!!
Something to remember, life is hilarious. Part of the reason I miss my grandmother is because she always yelled at me when I was giggling too much for her at funerals. Part of the reason I love texting is because I can text ridiculous words or phrases to my friends and I do, often. Part of the reason I enjoy myself so much is because I look for the most ridiculous part of of every experience I am in, because, wisdom is usually in the humor of life. Part of the reason decisions are not so scary for me is because when weighing decisions I always tack on some outrageous possibilities… which sometimes come true. Humor and joy allow us to expand our horizons, so every time I am feeling the failure hit, I look at it as a comedy of errors and I laugh at myself. Everything always works out…so we may as well giggle through it. <3