We are constantly at odds with our environments.
Stress from our job, relationship, family, car, home, pets.. on and on and on. Stress that turns into fatigue or worse illness.
We bark and wrestle with our stresses, seeking any kind of solace from them. Sometimes it can lead to addictive behaviors such as food, booze, drugs or other such things.
The thing is, the only thing we have as a consistent in all of our stresses is us. I know this because I have been the source of many problems over the years, don’ get me wrong, the other person was a part of it or sometimes, bad choices were made, or another break up occurred. Through all of it has been me, the consistent quotient.
Up until February of this year I have had many relationships and dates, you name it, I tried it. For a while I was searching for that person to make me happy. For a while I was searching for that item to make me happy. For a while I went to college to get the knowledge I thought would make me happy and so on….
For whatever reason I thought that an external answer was the key to my happiness.
Guess what? I had a lot of fun and was able to have some extraordinary experiences but I wasn’t happy.
What I was looking for was something so very simple, I didn’t even know it was right in front of me. Because it was me… I didn’t see it. I was looking, but when we look we don’t see us, as we aren’t in our field of vision…so we don’t even recognize our part in the equation.So as I said before, we are always in the equation, always on the the other side of the fulcrum.
So what do we do to deal with all of our stresses?
We take care of ourselves.
I was talking to a group of kids as I was doing forgiveness statements with and I explained that forgiveness is the top the pyramid, it rests atop awareness and acceptance. For us to do anything like forgiveness we must realize the issue(awareness) and then desire to move on with it(acceptance).
Taking care of oneself is imperative, we only have one body, so why do we treat it badly? One of my favorite ways to think about what is good for me is compare the best friend with the action. Would I tell my friend Maggie that drinking buckets of tequila on a regular basis is a great idea? That eating red meat five days a week or setting a krispie cream diet up … would I tell her, YES! Do it! No, in fact I would not…just as I would never allow her to wear a neon green tube top.
I would warn her about toxic people, toxic foods/drinks, habits, risky county fair amusement rides, clowns(neither one us like clowns), creepers, staying up too late or even going on a walk in panther infested woods.
If she was having a hard time or illness I would recommend a physician, masseuse, therapist, exercise regimen, acupuncturist, self-help books. If she needed a friend I would hope she would ask.
All of these things I would hope for my friend, we go back to our teens, I love her and want her to be happy, healthy and as perfect as she is.
So why is it so hard for us to be so for ourselves?
You know that saying :treat others as you would treat yourselves….. the golden rule…. right? Stiff upper lip? Grin and bear it? Just let it go?
Where in those statements that have been pounded into us… is us? Not one letter…. just we see our field of vision, so are our sayings about the field of vision. Not about us at all. No wonder we have no thought trail about self-care, it’s not there..it never was.
It’s hard for us. We don’t have a model to base self-care on. Even Jesus gave everything for others. SO what does that leave us? Anger,confusion, exhaustion, and worst of all: we have no idea what we enjoy, how to unwind, what tricks are good for us to take care of ourselves. What if protein is bad for you? It is for me, I have gout, and once I discovered the root of my problem I was able to keep my gout under control. It’s the same with our lives, if we don’t know what is hindering us how can we help ourselves? How depressed,stressed, beat up and over stimulated must we become to realize how important self-care is? Everyone is different, every face, hair, personality, clothing taste… so every self-care is different too.
Believe you are worth your own time. Think about that.
We all want THE relationship, job, house, car…blah blah blah…. None of those are attainable without you. The question becomes, how do I take care of myself to achieve the things I want?
Sleep. Exercise. Positive people. Pets. Good nutrition. Meditation. Massages. An uncluttered home. Funny movies. Amusement parks. Sunsets. Happy music. The beach on a full moon. Time with beloveds. Baths. Giggling. Walks in the autumn. Speaking our feelings. Time to ourselves. Quiet. Prayer. Yoga. Journals. Making art. Writing love letters. Calling your grandma. Coffee shops. Sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. Smelling lavender on a summer night. Napping in a hammock.
These are activities that are inexpensive and will help enrich your soul. Your soul is yours, it’s part of you. We come into the world and leave it with just ourselves, taking care of us, all of us is crucial. When we forget to care for ourselves that quiet ethereal part of you gets mucky…and so does everything else. Feed the quiet part of you with quiet, cherish yourself and your life will open up. Once you are open, then miracles happen. All those stressful situations are easier to manage, being more open allows us to have more fun.
You know that moment when you are having some great fun and the world seems yours? This is our goal, by taking care of ourselves we can be in that place of delicious fun ,to have less stress and see how wonderful the world is. See? When you have fun, you really do have everything.
Happy weekend!!! I love you!